Emotions and Bras
I hadn't really thought of it until I had to. It has never been apple martini talk, or coffee break fun. The idea of me getting a hold of my emotional side (even strong emotions) and using it to add beauty to a relationship has not found me in too many a conversation. Yet, there's millions of us women walking through this world carrying all kinds of emotions around in pretty bodies and bright minds.
Growing up just seemed to happen to me; sometimes slowly, sometimes sideways, and every so often upside down. It struck me one day about the need for growing emotionally. I have always liked having my emotions-being a female!
I started to become more aware of my emotions during my teenage years, of course, I had five brothers. As a teenager, I suddenly felt fully loaded and equipped to whip my emotions out at any conversation or situation. Even more startling, I was totally confident that these emotions would leave the scene like heroes, walking from the rubble. Then, there were times I'd find myself in situations (disagreements, break ups,etc) only to discover that these emotions were actually conflicting with my judgment, view and discernment. They weren't like hero's anymore, but brutal attackers, with amazingly enough, mob level professional get away plans. At this point, I'd use solely my emotions, and then find myself deep in some predicament, of which I'd have to handle it as best I could from there. But somehow, when the situation was over, I was left with a staleness, a separation. It seemed that in some confrontations, or disagreements, I usually resorted to using a few intense emotions to sort through a situation, very little thinking, and then I'd react. This usually left me being a band-aid paramedic aiding my offended with 'I'm sorry” . And so I learned, emotional fueling of words and actions are extremely powerful and when used in abusive and degrading ways, they can strip piles of dignity from men and woman and make them feel small.
I started to become more aware of my emotions during my teenage years, of course, I had five brothers. As a teenager, I suddenly felt fully loaded and equipped to whip my emotions out at any conversation or situation. Even more startling, I was totally confident that these emotions would leave the scene like heroes, walking from the rubble. Then, there were times I'd find myself in situations (disagreements, break ups,etc) only to discover that these emotions were actually conflicting with my judgment, view and discernment. They weren't like hero's anymore, but brutal attackers, with amazingly enough, mob level professional get away plans. At this point, I'd use solely my emotions, and then find myself deep in some predicament, of which I'd have to handle it as best I could from there. But somehow, when the situation was over, I was left with a staleness, a separation. It seemed that in some confrontations, or disagreements, I usually resorted to using a few intense emotions to sort through a situation, very little thinking, and then I'd react. This usually left me being a band-aid paramedic aiding my offended with 'I'm sorry” . And so I learned, emotional fueling of words and actions are extremely powerful and when used in abusive and degrading ways, they can strip piles of dignity from men and woman and make them feel small.
Other times I remember thinking through a situation more in depth, and realized I used other emotions to fuel my thinking. I realized not to only use emotion to handle a situation. This oftentimes worked out better and left me with a strange liberation. There was no “I'm sorry” paramedic, no scar tissue, but rather a newness in me. It created a specialness to situations; a new avenue of thinking, one I liked exploring. And on and on I'd explore the complexity of emotions in a woman, even to this day: this sane woman! I started to love the uniqueness of a woman's emotions, and the way they compliment a woman. Emotions help make situations beautiful; cognizant. Being void of them, would leave conversations sluggish and pathetic even lonely. I hate lonely conversations.
In my relationships, I'm constantly aware of how “emotional” I am being and which, if any, emotions I”m harboring. I know emotions are only part of my involvement in relationships, and I've had to slow down and involve some different thinking to help broaden my encounters, and strengthen my relationships. There is something awesome that happens when I am in check with my emotional side.
It's depressing to suppress my emotions; to bury myself behind dial tone stares. I have all sorts of “positive” and “negative” emotions for reasons. Using them in my relationship is exciting and powerfully connecting. I think it's a good thing to be feisty at times, like a barb-wired bra. It's necessary to be soft like a silk bra because it allows for a particular sensitivity- one that I don't always see, the sensitivity woman innately crave. It's important to be opinionated and honest like a red see-through bra worn on a wild night. It's necessary to be interested and energetic and positive-everyone needs that yellow bra!
And so the emotions women have inside us, that side that adds to a woman, (Playfulness, satisfied, feisty,relaxed, overwhelmed, fear, anger, apprehensive, aggravated,confident,,etc) are all used in different ways to help share who we are. What triggers certain emotions and why, is another conversation. Emotions to me are a good thing, they help make a relationship relational.
And so the emotions women have inside us, that side that adds to a woman, (Playfulness, satisfied, feisty,relaxed, overwhelmed, fear, anger, apprehensive, aggravated,confident,,etc) are all used in different ways to help share who we are. What triggers certain emotions and why, is another conversation. Emotions to me are a good thing, they help make a relationship relational.
It's a funny thing for me to think about, all these emotions inside with so many degree's of strength, and so many differences between them all. How they get us ticking, when to run with one and when to sizzle one out, it takes some discernment. So, when people say woman are emotional in their stereotypical, scoffing way, I've got something for you-thank you!
Every man loves a woman with a variety of bras!
-Caryl
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